I Love Some Lively Discussion
Oh how much fun I had reading through your comments about Couple Time!
I want to make it clear that Luke and I don’t regularly jaunt to fabulous locations. We go once a year to Florida and this only because our friends have a FREE condo and Pastor Appreciation in October usually gives us the extra money to buy really yummy seafood. (Luke’s worst nightmare since he hates anything ocean borne.) We also have wonderful grandparents who actually come stay at my house to take care of the kids. There can never be enough heartfelt ‘thank you’s to our family and congregation. You have no idea how much your graciousness towards us restores our energies in ministry. I hope that excellent crab stuffed chicken I ate shows in the vigour with which I serve and love you!
We also do not have regularly scheduled date nights. We just take them when Opportunity knocks. Believe me, I’m feelin‘ ya on the expensive babysitters when you aren’t near family and have multiple children. And yes, I understand going out is not a prerequisite to a great marriage. The point I was getting at was the motivation for not wanting to leave, not the inability of doing so. For fun, I thought I’d give you a few ideas Luke and I have used in the past to spend time together on a budget.
* Trade out child care with friends.
We have several families with whom we are friends that I have no doubt I could call on to watch my kids in return for watching theirs another weekend. We’ve also split them between two homes before because my no. 3 boy is a mischief-making, fight-instigating, momma-missing fiend. The key to not feeling guilty about asking is to be the first to offer this for someone else. You could say, “Hi Friend. You and hubby could use the night out and my kids would love some company for Friday. Why don’t you go out and let them come over?” Do this without expecting the favor in return and you’ll be surprised by how often it IS returned.
* Eat dinner at home but go for a great dessert or movie.
Can anyone say Starbucks or Marble Slab Creamery? I also love going to the movies but avoid concessions. I sneak in my chocolate and buy a coke to assuage my guilty conscience.
* Rent movies.
My favorite times with Luke are when we watch a movie together. I absolutely loved Melody’s twist on this by having a ‘No Parents Allowed’ party so the kids can watch a movie in one room while the parents watch another. We split up like this sometimes but are plagued with someone coming in our room every 5 minutes to see what our movie is about. Melody’s idea is ingenious and you’d better believe I’ll be trying it out this weekend! Just a note: Luke and I recently watched Sandra Bullock’s ‘Premonition’. Are we the only people who have seen this who wanted to jump off the roof when it was over? Talk about terrible endings!
* Read together after the kids are in bed.
I love reading and especially reading in bed after the kids are asleep. This is the time I can ask Luke a zillion questions about what I’m studying or he can tell me what he’s planning on teaching at church.
With all that said, I believe we can conclude Togetherness isn’t a place but a State of Mind.
But, it sure helps my State of Mind to be Together at The Chop House.
Have I said lately that I like you?!?
:-D
Good words, girl!
After seeing Premonition, I chose to make up my own ending. I really liked the movie, but I really didn’t like it, too, you know? ;)
Hi, my name is Lisa, also! I found this blog through a visit to CWO.
My hubby and I had a great “date” Saturday night because all of our teens were out, and we spent some rare time alone together in the house (it’s usually pretty noisy around here)! Sometimes, that’s more fun than going out!
I haven’t seen “Premonition”, but I always highly recommend “While You Were Sleeping”…if you haven’t seen it, and you adore Sandra Bullock (as I do), then this is one movie you can actually watch in front of the kids. There’s not one curse word or sex scene (or innuendo of sex) in the entire movie! And it’s actually funny, too! Very refreshing. I miss movies like this! I wish they’d make more of ’em.
Our answer, since we both work, is lunch dates! We love trading child care–thanks for the practical hints!
Thank you for reminding me of the commitment we made a fews years ago at the Family Life Marriage conference. We said that we would set aside one night a month and date. We are really trying to get back to that because the oldest 2 are working every Friday night. But that leaves us with #3 who is not old enough to stay by herself, so it is usually a date night with Ally. She says she will go quietly and we will never know she is there! LOL!! Anyway, I agree with spending time investing in the marriage. The 2 of us will be together long after the kids are gone!
Ummm…I had a ‘premonition’ that you weren’t gonna like that movie….hahaha…
Before you rent any movie consult with me first and I’ll tell you whether or not something is horrible or not.
Did I tell you that movie “Premonition” is horrible…oh wait, gosh I think I just had a little dejavu!!! HAHAHAHAA
Did you say Chop House??? :P
What a good reminder these posts have been. My hubby and I always (except for missing maybe 2x when our babies were tiny) gone away for a night for our anniversary and for the last 4 years have attended a couple’s conference every fall. It’s so good for us, but like many of the others said, the daily stuff is so important… spending time together after the kids are in bed and eating breakfast together have always been keys to togetherness for us. Which is why I should stop blog-hopping for the night! :)
I like your last thought…togetherness isn’t a place but a State of Mind
Stuart and I only get to go out for dates once or twice a year but we have learned to cherish our walks around the neighborhood and the time spent washing dishes together. We call quiet minutes of togetherness date minutes and somehow that seems to make them special.
A good post.
Kate
This is a good post Lisa. I am so glad that you got the chance to get away. I love visiting with you in the mornings. Thanks for giving me something good to read! Love Ya!
As I’ve read the last couple of posts I’ve thought how sad that it feels necessary to “qualify” the idea of getting away or spending and evening out with our husbands. I am a firm believer that date night and an annual getaway for a few days are both a “must” for maintaining both my sanity and the health of our marriage, not to mention just for the sake of having some adult “fun”.
What a blessing that your congregation values you and your husband enough to provide you with some time away.
First of all, I’m SOOO with you on the “Premonition” thing. I was just so SURE it would end differently!
Secondly, trading babysitting sounds good and all until I have to watch someone else’s kids! LOL! My own wear me completely out and the thought of adding more to the mix makes me twitch just a bit. We do have some good friends that we used to trade with when each of us only had 3. Now, we each have four and those #4’s are both giant handfulls! Thankfully, Benji is 12 and in a couple of years, he will be old enough to watch the others and David will be old enough to leave with a 14 year old. (I hope, I hope, I hope!)
Thank goodness for GRANDPARENTS and $1 Theaters!!
I have never seen that movie Premonition am I the only one ??now I have to see it,, is it scary??
my husband loves scary movies I will have to rent that one out.
thanks,marina